Fly On The Wall Catches.....................Achhoo!

Sorry, have been flying around, so no contact. Heard this when I was a fly on the wall somewhere..

Small Boss (b): Sir, this is brewing into a big problem.
Big Boss (B): (snaps out of his snooze with a Homer Simpson drawl) Brew, ahhaaaa....I love my brew. How can brewing be a problem?
b: Sir, I mean the cricket scandal; this spot-fixing by cricketers may fix us.
B: (suddenly sits up) How?
b: Well Sir, obviously everyone will think if cricketers are so corrupt what about the cricket board?
B: How can people connect cricketers to the Board? We said and did nothing when IPL kicked out cricketers, did we?
b: Errrr..well, (coughs), sir, we sort of managed it...newspapers did report Sports minister's complain to his counterpart about being snubbed and a national insult and all the patriotic emotional.....
B: (cuts him off) Well, that is just standard political rhetoric. Does not prove our connection to the players. If anything, it will prove to the world that the government is also operating as per international standards like that...what do you call it? (snaps his fingers) aaha, the ISO!! But anyway, I do accept that we have to be seen to be doing something. After all, that IS our job. What do you think?
b: Well, sir,we can put the blame on an external influence...(winks)
B: Aha! Got you now. We better stay out of this whole thing, or we will have to answer the fans and government or even intelligence agency...(shiver runs through him) now, that could get messy. So the best outcome will be blaming BCCI and/or Indian government. The gullible fans will just lap it up. We can probably motivate some government official to blame Indians somehow?
b: That would be most wise, Sir. Batting, bookies and Indians are synonymous anyway. Remember John the bookie? I think if we dig hard enough, we can discover a Moolchand somewhere??
B: Moolchand?
b: Moolchand or Mazhar, what's in a name, Sir. If he is a bookie, he out to be Indian!
B: Good, call the High Commissioner to London; time for him to start paying back for all the bloody free tickets he has been enjoying. It is best that government handle this or we can offend cricket's Big Brother...and as you know, without Him, all our high-flying lifestyle will come down crashing!! Also tell the coach this time to keep his mouth shut unlike the previous one, who spilled the bloody beans on the Sydney test!
b: Sir, with all the due respect, we may still need plan B. You know what, Sir, its a pity that we were not playing at home..
B: Why do you say that?
b: Because then our intelligent agency would have "explained" that video footage evidence suitably. Unfortunately we are dealing with Scotland Yard..
B: (with a large grin showing paan-chewed, gold-capped teeth): You gave me an idea Chhotu. Isn't it correct that even though we are playing in England, we are the host nation? So we can claim we are still the host board for this series. We should have home advantage and hence we can summon our police to do the investigation instead of the Scotland Yard! Problem solved!!
b: Umm, Sir, but the home series was against the Australians. Against England, we are visitors.
B: Oh well, ok. May be I should keep my eyes open in the meetings! Bloody meetings, why do we keep them after Lunch? Anyway, that will be our plan B.
b: What exactly are you saying, Sir?
B: Well, I tell you what. If the players have not left the country after completing the home series, they are, technically speaking, still at home!!
Chhotu looks stunned!! And seems like that is not a first.. Big B continues.. 
B: Plan B; let us blame the ECB for bringing in foreign police to do the investigation. Frankly, my dear chap, it is racism!! And to be perfectly honest, our intelligence agency would do a lot better job than Scotland yard. They have received plenty of recommendations from foreign governments like India and USA!!
b: Well, Sir, ECB has actually been very kind to us in hosting Australian series. That may not go down well..
B: Well, Poms need Pounds too. Don't worry, I will explain it all to that fellow, what's his name...ah well, whoever, when we meet at the Champions League T20 retreat in South Africa... He understands sub-continent politics quite well...
b: Brilliant, Sir, as usual...aap ka jawab nahi..Just for my curiosity, do you seriously believe there is Indian hand in everything wrong happening here?
B: Absolutely..no doubts.
b: Even in natural disasters like the floods, tropical cyclones, earthquakes etc?
B: Of course. I am amazed you can't see that, Chhotu. May be that is why you are small. India gave us the wrong side of the land. But more importantly, if they had not separated, it would have been India suffering now! I tell you, they are rogues..
b: (opens his mouth to say something but words do not emerge)....
B: I must confess though, that I do not see Indian hand in everything.
b: So are you really saying there was some calamity in which there was no Indian hand? Which one Sir?
B: Well, the tropical cyclone Phet, which hit us hard and completely missed India!
b: So you are saying that India was not responsible for the cyclone Phet, correct?
B: I didn't say that Chhotu. I said, there was no Indian HAND in that. There were plenty of Indian mouths!!
b: (almost falling off his chair) What?
B: Well, I tell you; mark my words my dear chap. It was those billions of Indian mouths that were blowing hard at the cyclone and diverted it from their western sea coast to Karachi!
b: (suddenly tumbles out of his chair and touches the feet of Big B): Tusi badi top ho Sir! Now I know why no one except you deserves to sit on this chair..


Been sneezing since...Now I know how even a fly on the wall catches cold!!